New Years Resolutions

03 Feb 2012 by

Of course I do it every year don’t I?  Hate them!  Just setting myself up to fail! Somehow though can’t help it, is like painful ritual that marks the passing from one year to the next, you know you’ll think about them, you’ll make some and you know you’ll fail.

In December had loads of them, loose weight, adopt perfect healthy eating habits, become super Mum, turn into a Delia Smith/Martha Stewart domestic Goddess, learn everything there is to know about Linux operating system, write a book, become amazing world famous photographer, blog so well win some kind of literary award, teach Spanish, start running (staggering) again, win lottery, oh the list was endless.  All seemed perfectly reasonable before Christmas and of course all had to be put on hold until after the holidays, can’t possibly do anything before then, unthinkable!!

Realise it is now February.  Um well slightly behind schedule on a few of them, well most of them, well alright haven’t started.  Really though is just too hard to start January, too much pressure, couldnt take it, crumbled.  Poked a bit at the healthy eating and diet resolutions and managed to gain weight, well not really my fault cos loads of leftovers and can’t waste them (of course ended up going to waist anyway) but you know what I mean.  So now February and really trying to pull myself together.  February much more reasonable time to start these things, I mean is a big adjustment having to write 2012 all the time and summer seems so far away, well now getting used to 2012 and summer one month closer.  Although summer being a month closer adds its own pressure, the dreaded swimsuit aaaarrrggghhh!  Its enough to drive you to the fridge for comfort…and so the never ending cycle of guilt begins again!!!!!!!!!!!

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Moving

31 Jan 2012 by

Moving all sounds great doesn’t it when you talk about it, discuss it, think about it. The reality is different, very different. When you plan it it all seems lovely, new house, fresh start, when the reality involves far too many boxes and a long time sorting.

Boxes breed in captivity, is well known fact, in the wild they don’t fair so well.  David Attenborough could probably explain why all I know is that arrived back from Spain to find the new house had about a billion boxes squatting there. There just weren’t that many when we put them in storage and between you and me not one of their offspring was pretty. Having left the last house in somewhat of a rush the boxes were far from organised properly. Having been in Spain when they were put into the new house they were all mixed up and just everywhere and really cant be sure which ones were original and which are the wretched offspring.

So the first day managed to get the kitchen done more or less, some items were still missing in action but meals could be prepared, bonus! After that was just a question of dig in and get on with it. Now tricky part in all of this was the fridge, the new place had no fridge so we had to deal with a small dorm room size fridge. Now it’s not a problem in Europe to have a tiny fridge (small under the counter size) but in America, different story. Everything in America is huge, the ketchup bottle is huge, the margarine tub is gigantic and the milk is in a gallon container. Spent about a month with the tiny fridge. Was interesting having to go out and because only two out of three children has had breakfast. Should have probably left it and the first one up gets breakfast, the living embodiment of “ya snooze, ya loose”. Think I may have missed the opportunity to really teach them a life lesson “the early bird gets the worm” or in this case “the early child gets the milk”. Could have been a great story for them to tell their kids of how difficult their child hood was lol! Could have helped pay for some therapists new BMW!  Now have lush fridge and I swear I hear angels singing every time I open the door!

Now that Christmas is out of the way I realize that the house is fairly organized but the garage is not. Now really only thing am actually missing is a winter coat so really should just take everything in there to the dump……but what if???? What if have forgotten a lottery ticket in some forgotten box that turns out to be a mega winner. As am writing this could have zillions awaiting me or not of course. Am gonna be disappointed now when finally get out there (when it warms up) if I don’t find one. Ugh, can already feel the disappointment. So maybe just leave the garage as is, hope the box with coats in turns up sooner rather than later and avoid stinging disappointment. So there you have it, am officially moved in and done with boxes. Time to hibernate now!  Normal winter behavior resumes!

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Couch Potato to 5K Week 9

30 Sep 2011 by

Everything has happened this week to throw off running groove. Have had to have even more resolve than usual.  Would have given up after first run if not for you dear readers, was tempted to quit as ran the 30 mins on Monday which was goal of program, but felt should do the other two for other couch potatoes and to prove not a fluke.

Lovely sister has had to give up the running, but as a good sister she is still walking with me, well she walks and I run.  She is my ‘back up’ Laura.  Couldn’t run Wed morning as had an early start so we broke with tradition and went Tuesday evening.  Was quite odd.  In Spain in the summer old people put their chairs in the street (actually in the road), facing the window of the house and watch the telly from outside.  Well tonight they watching me, they were all very interested in unusual sight and forgot all about tv, unfortunately many not as agile as once were and had to actually stand up and turn around to watch me instead of just turn head.  Running in the evening was the exact opposite of early morning.  Early morning goes from night to day, but this evening went from day to total night, quite a different feel.  Lovely sister was my bodyguard, on the look out for weirdos and ready to save me.  Everyone out in the evening, busy streets.  As am unable to stop and explain to everyone we knew that saw on the way cos running, she had to explain why couldn’t stop etc.  Avoided getting in trouble (with our Mother) for rudely ignoring people thanks to lovely back up Laura (aka lovely sister, Joanne).

Really felt like townspeople starting to get behind me now!  The look of awe on their faces is really keeping me going.  Expect will have an annual race in town inspired by me.  Will be great event with national media coverage and will be called upon to present prizes at the end.  Will run for centuries and will end up having statues of me erected at all running tracks worldwide.  Stories of my athletic abilities will be passed on through the generations.  Am expecting phone call any day now to ask me to open London Olympic games and hand out all medals for running, any day now…..any day!

Final run and am alone, am like the Nike commercial from the movie “What Women Want” where is just the woman running with the phrase, “Nike.  No games.  Just sports”.  That’s me, the lone runner.  Am like Forest Gump running across the whole of the US, people will start running with me if I keep this up.  Will have trail of inspired runners behind me and no longer be alone.  Come on other couch potatoes, have blazed the trail so you too can know the joy of doing something no-one (not even yourself) thought possible.

Things I have learned from running:  It’s tiring and I don’t like it and it makes walking appealing.  Now I understand that maybe you all felt I became a convert, take up running for pleasure, and run 3 times a week for the rest of my life but no.  Not gonna happen.  It has however inspired me in that now I do feel like should be doing something and as walking is now appealing may stick with that.  Am glad I have done it, may do it again one day, maybe can be summer ritual cos have to hibernate in the winter, am in no way an all weather girl!

My lovely Mother asked me what am I going to do next?  What will be next challenge, cos she wants a new blog event to follow.  Have no idea, am not a Blue Peter presenter with a production team behind me researching next challenge, is only me and the lovely Joanne for support.  Will have to leave production team duties to friends and readers, so bring on the suggestions people!

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Mount Washmore

27 Sep 2011 by

Now Mount Washmore is a scary thing.  It consists of a mountain of dirty laundry.  When I say mountain I don’t mean a couple of loads I mean like there’s nothing left in the wardrobes large.  It seems to only happen in my house, no-one else I know seems to almost drown under the impossibility of it!  Everyone else seems to naturally have it under control, not me!

Have always got great ideas to keep it at bay.  Am forever inventing systems.  Systems have to be very carefully worked out. Once a system begins to form in my head need to break out the colour coded index cards, or set up the printer to print lovely colourful lists, or get a lush new notebook to jot every thing down in in lovely coloured pens.  Sometimes can’t fully finish the implementation of the system as need a fifth colour for one of the categories and needs to be the same type of pen, or don’t have quite the right notebook (maybe too big or too small or the line spacing is not quite right). OK yes, am addicted to the creation of systems and stationary.  Have mentioned this before, is a sickness and must not be mocked for it!

Truth be told my systems are fantastic and will work to perfection.  Am able to come up with a system for anything.  Can sort anyone elses house, office, business.  Will implement systems, get everyone organised, am great at devising the system, once it’s running well then lose interest.   In my case system can’t be put into effect whilst ever Mount Washmore exists, and have lost even more ground to growing pile whilst creating fabulous system,which is exhausting.  So then need a few days rest.

So this weekend had mammoth task of getting up to date with washing and ironing.  Avoided all thoughts of system creation and just got on with it, not nearly as satisfying, or interesting, but thought I’d try and break with tradition.  Did I make it, almost, mostly, not a bad effort really for someone who loathes domestic chores like I do.  Would feel happier if had nice pretty system in place now to maintain tiny pile of washing and prevent Mount Washmore from reappearing, but alas, spent the time scaling the mountain instead of planning the expedition.  Not nearly as much fun!

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Home School Week 2

25 Sep 2011 by

Really has been a quiet week, things plodding along quite nicely and even had my lovely boy working alone at one point.  So very happy.  Possible that not really got across how impressive the working alone bit is, I mean it’s monumental.  Think first man on the moon kind of incredible and you may be getting close!  My boy is not keen on the working alone and likes to have his personal assistant constantly by his side, eyes never wavering, always watching every single move he makes, oh and by the way, it’s me!  Quite tiring though, have stuff to do.  Lots of stuff, important stuff, fun stuff, educational stuff, housework stuff, frivolous stuff, crazy stuff, think you get the picture, anyone can see that’s a lot of stuff.

Price of course has to be paid for smooth home school week, and that price is house looks like it vomited on itself!  Not in the way that just goes in one spot, or manages to make it to the bathroom in time, but the kind that just won’t be contained and goes everywhere.  So Friday had to regain control of the beast and show it who is boss.  Decided all guilty parties would have to work together to get this one under control.  Gave a rousing speech to all children and explained how we were in this together, house could be tamed, gonna require team effort, but with a co-ordinated assault we just might make it!  All hands on deck!  Really felt was a monumental speech – deserved standing ovation, needless to say did not get one, never mind.

Barked out instructions to everyone, change bedding, sweep, mop, bathrooms, kitchen, tidy, pick-up, put away, polish, dust….. Children disoriented, bumping into each other, cries of  “what, I have to do it”, anguished voices, huffs, puffs and eventually whimpers.  All through were moans of  “am I done yet?” and “can I be done now“, actually wish I had counted those as we could very well have made it into the Guinness book of Records! Plenty of eye rolling and mumbling which I ignored as am immune to such things as a home school Mum, plenty of practice in ignoring all that malarcky.   However eventually the jobs were completed, peace and tranquility reigned supreme once again and now all that remained was a pile (quite a substantial one though) of ironing.  Still can work on that over the weekend in a clean house.  That and Mount Washmore of course (another post maybe).

So a great week in all and a clean house for the weekend!  Wonder if now they have had to clean it, if they will keep it cleaner this week, there is a science project there just waiting to be planned!!!

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Shenanigans, Part 2

24 Sep 2011 by

Extremely lucky this week to have had two lots of  Shenanigans, lots of fun.  Although is true have to make it happen, is brilliant when opportunity knocks.  Some people miss out but personally like to grab the moment and squeeze every last drop of fun out of it.  Lucky for me have family and friends ready to make an effort and give the fun a chance to explode.

So the second lot involved a simple comment from a very lovely friend in England who likes to visit us all here as often as possible (probably for the Shenanigans).  It happened like this.  Each morning after doing the school run (for my niece and nephew and lovely friends children), we like to have a quick coffee in our local coffee shop/bar.  It’s a quick 20 minutes with my parents, lovely sister of course and lovely friends.  So this week did a face book check-in at bar.  Well immediately got comments from lovely UK friend Liz, saying she wished she was with us, and actually we should at least have a cardboard cut out of her to take to coffee.  Takes no more than that for an idea to be born!  We can really get Shenanigans from almost anything, it’s a gift, and we are proud of it, however we never use our powers for evil only for good.

So lovely bf Raquel, lovely sister Joanne and obviously yours truely came up with a cunning and highly amusing plan.  Cardboard cut-out a bit tricky of course due to needing enormous printer at home and also life size piece of cardboard.  We had neither so alternative needed.  Decided on sticking a passport size photo (just cutting out the face) onto a Barbie doll and having her join us on our school run and morning coffee.  Brilliant  and yes we are prepared to go to almost any lengths for Shenanigans!  We try to work with any and all available resources and we usually make it work.

So we borrowed one of my niece’s Barbies, but the only one with dark hair (Liz has dark hair and we are attentive to detail) was Gabriela from High School Musical.  Tricky part was that she is slightly smaller than regular Barbie .  The outfit we wanted to use was a normal Barbie one (Gabriela’s outfit not really suitable for our friend), so had to get out the sticky tape and take her clothes in quite a bit (where’s Gok Wan when you need him).  All looked good, especially when we stuck on lovely friends face over the top of Gabriela’s.

We did the whole works.  We took photos of Liz taking the kids to school (they were a bit puzzled until we explained was for fun and Shenanigans), then they got into the spirit of it (started fighting over Auntie Liz).  We took her to coffee (did face book check-in) and she even had a fun-tastic night out on “the Dos” (out on the town) although she did end up a little worse for wear, cannot actually tell you how we found her but let’s just say she’d had a few too many.  We have photographic evidence of every moment and being good friends have posted the lot on face book!  Most fun of all was willingness of everyone to join in, just proves Shenanigans are a giggle for all!

Amazingly received some face book comments referring to our state of mind but we were all laughing too much to care.  I think our track record of Shenanigans shows remarkable flair.  Everyone really joined in and Liz had her photo taken with almost everyone in town.  It seems it’s easy to have a laugh if someone starts the fun and it would seem that we are quite good at that.  Shenanigans are fun for the whole family!!!  Start some today!

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Shenanigans, Part 1

24 Sep 2011 by

Shenanigans according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary means:  Silly or high-spirited behavior; mischief

Love Shenanigans, think they should be compulsory for all during economic hard times.  Have instigated a double dose this week and have enjoyed immensely.

First bout of Shenanigans happened when lovely bf  Teri told me that the home school group that we founded over the summer, have started to doubt my existance.  We created new secular home school with a view to making a group that was inclusive regardless of race, religion or mental stabilty (that part just for the two of us really), and found it took off wonderfully.  A weekly park day has ensued but alas have not yet attended even one due to the fact that they are being held in the States and we, as yet, are still in Spain.  Due to unavailabilty of teleportation as a method of transportation available to the masses am restricted (and to be fair restriction does bring out the worst kind of Shenaniganism in me).  Is also a fact that Doctor Who is far too busy saving the human race for the billionth time (really you’d think he’s just give up, am very glad he does not) and has no time for running a taxi service between Spain and the USA, so am forced to wait to meet all my future friends.

Well now it transpires that due to many factors (too complicated to expand on here), my travel dates have been pushed back several times.  My lovely friend Teri has been to all these park get togethers and has been telling people I will be back eventually but yet again delayed!!! Unfortunately people are starting to think she has an imaginary friend (me), that she is quite loopy.  It was even suggested that she has two facebook accounts and is making all my posts herself.  I object!  I think, therefore I am!!!!

We decided to have a little fun!  Can only apologize for what happened next we are out of control!

Teri’s Rotweiler puppy has just had an operation to shall we say ‘curb his enthusiasm’ and several lovely people enquired as to his well being.  I persuaded Teri (really I said it once and she was like YEAH, do it) to send me a picture of the lovely Easy, that’s his name (and he is now free to live up to it) with his cone of shame.  Posted said picture on my own profile, sent to the group, saying “Great to see everyone today at the park! Thanks to everyone who asked about Easy, he is doing fine! Here is a picture of my sweet boy with his cone of shame!!”

Now Teri and I were fully expecting a barrage of comments saying things like, oops you posted on your fake Sarah profile instead of your own.  Or we knew it, you are looney!  Anything like that!  Went to bed cos was way late here fully expecting that upon waking the following morning there would be a bunch of hilarity awaiting me.  No! Nothing! Not one ‘like’, comment, nothing!  Had to wait for time difference to catch up so could discuss with Teri.  Horrified we were!  How can anyone let such a golden opportunity pass them by?    Tried giving a little prod when Teri posted under the photo “Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m schizophrenic and so am I.”  Thought that would for sure do it,but no!  Then to really highlight it she posted “Sarah is not imaginary, I promise. LOL”.  Still nothing.

At this time preferring to give benefit of the doubt, decided that if everyone thought Teri really cucu then maybe afraid to comment.  Decided that maybe should give another opportunity, so Teri posted exact same picture and exact same comment!  I replied with exact same things also, repeated whole thing posting as her not me!  Thinking this would tip everyone off to the fun and frolics, flood gates would open, and hilarity commence………..nothing!  Unbelievable!  Maybe new group really afraid right now, forming break away group as we speak, who knows. Maybe not used to being with people who like Shenanagins!  Be not afraid people, we not only like but encourage Shenanagins, it keeps us sane (well kinda)!!!

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Couch Potato to 5K Week 8

23 Sep 2011 by

This week has been a struggle, a real struggle.  There’s no walking any more.  Miss the walking, really, really, really miss the walking. Only 5 minute warm-up walk now.   Now is just running, and more running, and keep running for 28 minutes, is a loooong time.  I am tired.  Is getting darker every morning.   Temperature has changed too, it is getting cooler, prefer warmer.

On top of all that, tragedy has struck.  Yes!  Lovely sister suffered injury on Monday.  Twisted ankle during run but carried on like a real trouper.  So out of deep concern for her painful ankle decided to skip walking on Tuesday and give it time to rest.  Was really nice to have a lie in.  High point of the week really.

Wednesday running in the dark again, not funny. Far too many kids about when trying to run, not like they haven’t seen it before now, but they still cannot help but stare, it’s ruuuuude!!!!  If I wasn’t fighting for every breath would have told them so myself.

Skipped walking again (nice well deserved lie in) as lovely sister’s ankle still bad and she decides for health reasons that running not for her what with her arthritis and pain etc (actually not joking, real arthritis).  So we were chatting with lovely friend Teri on Skype about serious arthritis pain as also a sufferer who had to give up running for same reason.  Well, supposed to be bf (best friend) Teri, being actually medically qualified in such matters, starts telling Joanne that actually if you were to walk fast ie. just to the point before running (am hoping she did not mean that ridiculously stupid wiggle walk), then you get a better cardio workout than jogging really slowly, and less joint trauma.  Yes she used word trauma!  Was horrified!  What about my trauma when have been running all this time.  Understand that have done fantastically, incredibly and amazingly well with all this running and have been an inspiration to others, but have not enjoyed it (the running that is, quite nice being an inspiration to others, like that bit).  Have had to blog about it as a sort of therapy.  Am probably going to need some kind of rehabilitaion after this.  Can’t believe Teri waited until am on week 8, yes 8 out of a 9 week program to impart those words of wisdom, and if run 3 times a week is like have done 24 out of 27 runs!  Well, had to let her know my displeasure over whole matter, and so she has since been sending me links (like this one  http://todsin.searchwarp.com/swa83238.htm) to back up the “walking can burn even more calories and give better workout than running” scenario.

So now big decision to make my friends.  Lovely sister has abandoned running and switched to walking.  Lovely friend has confirmed walking can be even better (although mentioned it very late on in the program).  Have completed 24, yes 24 out of 27 runs.  Is it all for nothing I ask you?  Could reasonably quit now but feel is quite sad to quit with only 3 to go.  Quite nice to finish what you start even if it is ‘running’.  Would face book family and friends be disappointed?  Fear not!  Will finish program (not making any promises for after that though).  Will be a beacon of hope to all, carry the torch to the finish line alone but determined.  Am on a noble quest and will not falter at the final hurdle, but the last part of the journey I must go alone.  Wish me well dear friends and hopefully we shall see each other again soon when the deed is done, and good has triumphed once more!

 

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Life, sometimes it kicks you

20 Sep 2011 by

Crushing blow yesterday! Property tax bills delivered, 5 years worth all at once. The Spanish general attitude of “mañana, mañana” has taken on an entirely new meaning. This attitude even extends to official paperwork that has taken five years to work out. Now must point out here that have lived in this house since 2004 and by law they are only allowed to charge me for the current year and four previous years, so have in effect made out ok in that regard, but still not happy. Still a massive shock to the system. Their super relaxed attitude equals massive stress for me! Am not happy and am sure Judge Judy would side with me on this. Probably give them a very sever talking to and heaven help them if they tried to interupt and account for incompetency, she would be forced into yelling mode – quite rightly.

My issue with whole thing is not that it shouldn’t be paid but that they couldn’t get their act together in 7 years and am now supposed to come up with 750 euros in six weeks. Now a few years ago this would not have been such a problem, had a job, had savings, but now have given up business to live abroad and home school, savings long gone with economic crisis, so what’s a girl to do. There are few legal professions where you can make that kind of money so quickly but if anyone has any suggestions that would be great, LOL. Am obviously playing the lottery but so far have not bought the winning ticket, not sure what am doing wrong there really, have asked for it every time! Still am remaining ever hopeful for a magical solution, anyone got Harry Potter’s number? He must have some spare time now the Dark Lord is no more.

Now life may be trying to kick me when I’m down but it wants to watch out cos next time it tries am gonna trip it over from down here!!  So put my angry hair on (encouraged it’s natural wild and crazy look instead of taming it as usual, I have more looks than Mrs. Potato Head) and went up to the town hall. Thought it might help to look slightly deranged, like someone about to go crazy (went mad ages ago so mostly under control now). Stated my case in no uncertain terms. Told them I felt that giving 6 weeks to pay 5 years worth of bills is unacceptable in current econimic climate, that all very unfair then stamped my foot to add proper emphasis. Totally took the wind out of my sails by agreeing with me!! Very inconsiderate really as was ready to let loose, even had lovely sister with me for back-up. According to them these bills come from some central government for the area and yes they agreed it is wrong. So nice town hall man phoned them up and found out that if I go to said central government for the area’s offices they can arrange payment plan.

Two options left, one is to abandon homeschool, put children back in public school, attempt to restart business in current dodgy economy. Option two is to put all eggs in one basket and hope childrens education is such that they get fabulous jobs and are able to keep me in the manner to which I would very much like to become accustomed, it’s a lottery either way. So will just have to see how payment plan works out and give the children a chance to totally spoil me in my old age.

 

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Homeschool Week 1

19 Sep 2011 by

Last week was first week of school and had triumphant start to the week when we recreated a map of the world in the street, working on a map lesson and drawing to scale. An ant crawling across work in progress was immediately named Columbus even though was travelling east, did point that out and they said he was returning from America. Apparently Columbus suffered terribly strong winds on said return journey as ant wiggled around taking long route across Atlantic Ocean. Also much more acurately positioned tinier ant was named Marco Polo so some retention from last year. Am brilliant homeschool Mum who got three votes for fun way to start the year!

Olivia laughed through Chemistry, am thrilled! New course (www.thinkwell.com) and am so happy it working for her. She liked it so much that went ahead of schedule and did a few extra days work, incredible! Beatrice has new book syndrome, loving the start of a new course, just like her Mum likes it to look pretty, spent ages writing neatly in her book and getting organised. We both are confirmed stationary-aholics! It’s a difficult condition to manage but we struggle on. Things like dog eared corner of a page likely to cause very extreme reaction in either one of us. It’s a condition we battle every day!

Best option at this point is stop writing! Maintain brilliant status. But in the spirit of full disclosure am going to continue to write.

The rest of the day not quite as perfect. My darling boy was shall we say a reluctant participant in the learning. Reluctant is really an understatement. Am lovely teacher but he not feeling it at the moment. He had a tantrum then I had one as don’t want to be left out, then he had one then me again but thought at least he is learning about taking turns. Glass half full again! By Wednesday reluctant boy has realized “resistance is futile” and has at least accepted that we are back into “school first, play after” mode. He may not be overjoyed but progress has been made.

So girls doing great, my lovely boy somewhat reluctant, but no-one loves him like I do so will continue to hang in there and throw knowledge at the boy in the hopes something will stick.

Summary of the week is “could have been better, could have been worse”. And that is not a bad place to start. :0)

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“Hair of the Dog”

17 Sep 2011 by

Interesting phrase that has been running through head a lot today due to slight over indulgence last night. Am going to blame recent diet and exercise for being somewhat out of sorts. If had not been on a diet then would not have abstained from alcohol for so long and then would not have been so affected by the indulgences of last night. Clearly years of work building up resistance to effects of alcohol all for nothing now. Does that seem fair? I think not!

There I am doing the right thing, trying to loose some weight, get fit and be somewhat health conscious and one night out and am suffering. Surely now that I am an athlete my body should be able to handle a few drinks a little better than that. Am really feeling quite cheated as body was certainly able to handle it before I tried to get fit! Am certainly not supposed to feel worse.

Lovely summer in Spain involves evenings out at karaoke with family and good friends. Chance to let hair down and unwind all within walking distance of home. On the plus side even with a good helping of dutch courage did not actually start singing but have discovered brilliant new talent for interpretive dance! Lovely sister and I could quite possibly take local bars by storm next summer, she can sing whilst I interpret for non English speaking public using the medium of dance. Caused quiet the sensation last night for sure. Hopefully am remembering it acurately as a good sensation, well anyway is the way I choose to remember it.

The complete phrase is “hair of the dog that bit you” which refers to the practice in medieval times of curing the bite of a rabid dog by applying some of the very same dogs hairs to the infected bite wound. Am not quite sure that it’s advisable to re-approach a rabid dog that has just bitten you and try and pull some of its hair out but that was the medical advice of the time!  The phrase has since come to mean ‘cure like with like’.   However maybe advisable to approach the bottle that is to blame for all of this with caution but alas it’s empty, it has truly lost it’s bite!!

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Couch Potato to 5K Week 7

16 Sep 2011 by

Did I mention, am a runner! Yes I run 3 times a week. :0) Am playing in the big leagues now! Am hard core. Am no longer breaking the running into bite size pieces am straight into Monday morning 25 minutes running (5 minute warm up walk first of course, am not Rambo!).
Monday was also first day of school in Spain and was slightly thrown off stride when kept seeing people I know whilst attempting to keep running. School headmaster included! Was slightly hurt by all the gaping in amazement. It’s off-putting! I mean it is obviously a shock to see someone you know heaving themselves around town but no need to stare!! Plus felt awkward when could only manage a vague wave hello but not stop. Can’t stop, never get going again!
Lovely sister starting to feel pressure of week 5 (remember this one ends in 20 minute run). She has made serious error by looking ahead. Luckily as big sister am here to help, will be running 25 mins myself (cos am a runner now) so can be with her every step of the way.
Wednesday we had to go early as lovely sister had an early start with work. Met her in the street at 7am, ridiculous, stars still out, moon there, cars using headlights, parallel universe kind of stuff. Saw the sun come up!!!
Friday again saw the moon and stars even though went at 715am.  Is this reason enough to give up?  Is fact that now having to run so early is still night, good enough for facebook friends and family?  Probably not!  Lovely sister ran 20 minutes, amazing and another reason why must press on!  Was running last 5 mins all by self this morning and started to see all the teenagers in the street heading for school (8am start here for secondary school), more gaping, am not a freak show (well maybe am but they should really try to hide expressions more)!
Anyway, successful running week! Am thinking about offering my services to the British Olympic team. Feel it is patriotic duty to help really. If have improved self 1000% in only 7 weeks what could be possible for athletes in the months left before 2012 Olympics. Even if could only improve them 100% think what that would do for our chances. Am wondering if actual Olympic coach has been able to achieve the kind of improvement I have in such a short time, think not! Anyone got his number?

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A Brand New School Year

10 Sep 2011 by

This is it!  This year am going to be brilliant, inspirational, organised!  School year is mostly planned out, and have got most of the supplies and even though school is going to have to begin whilst still abroad (long story), am going to be the picture of calm gentle teacher whose students never tire of learning.  Will have beautiful moments huddled together with my children reading great literature and having deep meaningful discussions that will provide solutions to all the worlds problems and result in family winning Nobel peace prize!  Will make DVD’s and write books about perfect family and will be asked to be on all major talk shows across the world to talk about how came up with a solution that solved worldwide economic crisis!  Movie rights will be discussed and will become household name, will rub shoulders with A list celebrities and be photographed on red carpets all over the world.

Have until Monday morning, 5 minutes into the first lesson to be precise,  to enjoy delusions of perfection!!

As with every year have set myself up to fail spectacularly.  Will fail at being calm (probably first thing to go), will fail at being organised (will be a close second), will fail at persuading kids that reading together is better than playing Minecraft with their friends, will fail at coming up with convincing (at least for 11 year old) argument as to why fractions are useful part of life, or that anything on the core list is of any interest or use to them!

So how to get through the year without becoming addicted to xanex or turn into sad alcoholic.  Chosen method this year is going to be to rely heavily on friendship and support of other non-fictional (and other non-functional) home school parents and start over every day.  Is so simple, no idea why didn’t think of it before.  Will wipe the slate clean every night and begin again each day.  This year will connect the dots, dots being the moments (even brief and fleeting ones) where ideal, perfect homeschooling moment occurs!  Will write them down, must create wonderful record of beautiful memories, skim over the imperfections and just note the brilliant moments.  Of course if there aren’t many will just have to write about the ones that went wrong, then others can read and think to selves ‘well at least am not that bad’ and can be inspired.  This years ups will be my inspiration and years downs can make others feel better about their own efforts, like reality tv!!

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Couch Potato to 5K Week 6

09 Sep 2011 by

Was right to be scared of week 6!  Culminated in a 25 minute run!  Laura says can now officially call myself a runner, yes am officially an athlete!  No longer pretend athlete, real one.  Can casually drop phrases like “yes, I run three times a week” and “yes, I like to keep fit” into conversations.  Lovely sister Joanne doing very well with her running and looking up to athletic older sister in awe and wonder.  Quite right!

Am now expanding brand to clothing, cool, attractive fitness wear to go along with fitness dvd.   Am not only fit now but also getting calls from Sir Alan Sugar wanting to buy out super overnight success.   Have had to explain to Sir Alan, is the woman behind the brand that makes it work, not just business model.   Is disappointed but sees the wisdom of my words!

Made the mistake of looking ahead to weeks 7, 8 and 9.  Basically no more walking after the warm up 5 mins.  No is just running.  Still at least I can test samples of new clothing line and see what works….

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Couch Potato to 5K Week 5

02 Sep 2011 by

Laura has lost the plot this week!!!!  Clearly on some kind of power trip, getting enjoyment from telling people to run for stupid amounts of time.  Laura is a wolf in sheeps clothing!

In week 5 she had three different runs for me.

Monday. Had to do three stints of 5 minutes, it was mega, but managed it.   She has more confidence in me than I do.   This week  had the definite feeling that would reach personal limit in this experiment.

Wednesday.  Did two stints of 8 mins each, unprecedented!!!

Friday.  OK you will not believe this!  Warm up walk 5 mins completed, then 20 mins running non-stop.  Laura quite helpful with occasional encouraging comments however at end of run, after much well deserved praise, during 5 minutes cool down walk, announces that if failed to make the 20 minutes then be a good idea to repeat week 5.  Can you believe it?  Was an option to fail, but not offered before, offered at the end!  Needless to say felt cheated.

However, am legend!  Am incredible!  Am an inspiration to all around me especially lovely younger sister!  Have run for 20 minutes non stop.   Any day now will be putting out own excercise dvd for purchase and become huge overnight success as fitness guru.   Alright maybe not quite but getting there.   Not yet graceful cheetah more like lame duck trying to make it back to the nest to die , it’s not pretty but can work on the look later!

Yay weekend off now, then onto week 6 :0/ scary!!!!

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Couch Potato to 5K Week 4

29 Aug 2011 by

This week had to start on Sunday due to being dedicated athlete and fact that have to drive to Madrid on Friday for very important visa appointment at American Embassy so running not possible on Friday.  Lovely sister taking all in her stride and completed everything without problems, am feeling pressure of continuing to set a good example as am two weeks ahead in program.  Have been reminiscing about  the good ole days of week three.  Was back in the days when had to do a couple of 3 minute stints of running.   This week the stakes were raised and 5 minute stints were introduced.   Contrary to popular belief (confess to have led this opinion) did actually manage to finish the week.   No-one is more amazed than I!   Managed to drag lumpy body around the village doing as Laura tells me.

5 mins is amazingly long amount of time when doing something unpleasant like running and incredibly quick when doing something nice, why is that?  Technically time should be constant but have proved beyond reasonable doubt that is not.  Running 5 mins warps time stream and messes with reality.  Wonder if am actually endangering others by time warping activities.  Mmm need sonic screwdriver to measure effects and only one in existence with Doctor Who, tricky!  Is this credible argument that can use to bow gracefully out of running program.  Think not, shame.

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Couch Potato to 5K Week 3

21 Aug 2011 by

Lovely sister (Joanne) returns but turned traitor almost instantly deciding would join me on quest for real fitness.  Now have no way to give up.  Can’t face facebook fall out from abandoning quest as Joanne begins (blast the fact that have 60 mutual facebook friends) .  Now have to be responsible older sister and pave the way for younger sibling.  On top of running, lovely sister has decided to start diet, now am compelled to join in other wise will look even larger by comparison.  So now diet and fitness all part of daily routine.  Only good bit is fab new iPhone app that tracks calories and exercise.  Now exercise gives extra calories for yummy treats.  Finally exercise has a point.  Am sharing link so others too can enjoy yummy twix bar on diet.

http://www.mynetdiary.com/iPhone.html

So am up at crack of dawn with lovely sister doing power walking warm up and we got wolf whistled!! Yes true!! Then they yelled “guapas” (pretty in Spanish)! Lovely sister of course yelled “gracias” as is only polite thing to do and our Mother would expect it, plus to be quite honest we were really grateful – clearly all this exercise has really started to pay off!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Drive by compliments are really a great way to start the day!

Week three, was, shall we say a big shock to the system.   Last week was up to running in 90 second stints compared to 60 second ones in week 1.  Well this week has jumped to include 2 lots of 3 minutes.   When Laura said had to do 3 minutes of running nearly turned around and went back to bed.   However, was half way through my warm up walk and was with lovely sister (who looks up to me as wonderful older example) so gave it a go.  Laura was right! Did it! Amazingly.

Lovely sister Joanne completed week 1 without a hic-cup probably mainly due to excellent advice about footwear from lovely more experienced older sister.

Can not say that enjoy the running part (or even the walking part) but do quite like feeling afterwards when have done it.   Yes it’s nice – it’s over, and don’t have to do it again for 48 hours!  Is that normal?  Maybe that’s the high of excerising that people talk about, just turns out that it’s a high from finishing!  Yes have found bit can enjoy, finishing!!

Sister in law, Abi,  inquired  as to exercise burn status and following conversation ensued on face book;

Abi: Has the burn gone?

Me: NO :0( xx

Abi: But it feels nice, yeah? ;o)

Me: Again Abi NO :0( xx

Move on to week 4 with much trepidation!

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Couch Potato to 5K Week 2

13 Aug 2011 by

Week 2 is complete!  Run/walk ratio now 90 seconds run/90 seconds walk repeat six times.  That did not get easier to do, but  have to say that my legs didn’t ache nearly as much.  My daughter Beatrice pointed this out in the following conversation;

Beatrice – “You must not be aching as much Mummy, it must be working”

Me – “Don’t know, it’s really hard”

Beatrice – “Well you aren’t complaining every time you move now, so it must be getting better”

Hmmm so it must be!!

Things I have learned this week, it is much harder to run in the morning if you drank the best part of a bottle of wine the night before :0).  Valuable lesson learned, will not be repeating that.  Lovely warm fuzzy feeling of wine in the evening replaced by even more tired feeling in the morning.

Lovely sister arrives back from holiday this weekend so prob quit running if can face  horror of comments after updating facebook status to say have given up.

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Couch Potato to 5K Week 1

05 Aug 2011 by

Things I have learned this week on my three runs.

Monday.   At the moment had finished the 5 min warm up brisk walk and as started the first running stint realised that flip flops are not standard sporting attire for a reason, not even fit flops!!   Had not even thought about it until that moment, that is the kind of challenge this program is up against!  Laura expected too much, way too much.  Had me walking to warm up for 5 mins, then run 60 seconds and walk 90 seconds until had done 8 lots of running then cool down walk for 5 mins.  Could not do it!  Managed 3 of the runs and half of each of the remaining 5.  Am horribly ashamed, am disgraced!  Am thinking is possible to totally blame fit flops for failure as long as can manage full program on Wednesday.  Must find trainers!  Laura has given me a day off tomorrow probably to give herself some time to adjust claims of program after seeing what happened today.

Wednesday.   Trainers (sneakers) are definitely the way to go, top tip there for any of you thinking of doing this! Also helps to work it so that everytime you have to run is not on an uphill bit, and is amazing what feels like uphill when running, that felt flat in the car!!  Have managed all 8 one minute runs today so was definitely the fit flops to blame.  Am no longer pathetic failure am on the road to fitness.

Friday.  Have again completed program, two out of three not bad.  Was touched and grateful for many friends voicing concerns that will become fitness fanatic but fear not.  Think there is NO CHANCE that I will become addicted to exercise like some people, just NO CHANCE!!!! So all of my friends out there that were concerned about that can stop worrying :0).

Hooray!!!  Have completed week 1 of Couch Potato to 5K!   It has required a superhuman effort but its done, scary thing is there is a week 2!

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Feel the burn

03 Aug 2011 by

Should disclose that started running program when my sister went on holiday.  Thought as we had been walking every morning that instead of boring lonely walk would try running.  Thought to self that after two weeks of this program she will return and as will have reached my limits in the running will go back to nice comfy walk and chat with her.  However have made potentially catastrophic error by announcing on facebook to friends and family that am starting this program.  Had thought making such news public would help to keep going through the two weeks but now seriously regret rash impulsive move.  Failure so much more comfortable in private.  Blame facebook and it’s status updates and pressure of nothing to write.

Am now feeling the exercise burn, I no likey!  Am I not supposed to feel better after so many days of exercising (read 3 days)?  My sister in law has said that burn will feel nice after a while, told her am unlikely to like anything that hurts. She then said that burn only happens when settling into exercise or if you have over-done it. That’s it!  Have over done it!  Legs are feeling very bad, maybe  am just not built for this.   Maybe I have a wide rear as thats more comfy to sit on, yes that must be it, am built for sitting, yippeee I can do that really well lol!

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